Circumstances In Our Lives Are Neutral Until We Have Thoughts About Them

I got an email today from United Airlines changing my flights. My body froze. Noooo! Please don’t let it be so. There was a brief moment of relief when I realized it wasn’t my upcoming flight to my conference in Texas, but then I noticed it was for our family spring break to Utah. Probably worse! 

United rescheduled us from DIRECT flights across the country to inconvenient layovers, one of which made no sense at all and doubled our flight time. This pissed me off as we had paid EXTRA for the direct flights to ensure we didn’t have to perform gymnastics to get to Utah for spring break. My thoughts went ballistic. How dare they do this to us. We just got totally screwed! They have to rebook us!! They owe us money!!! …@#$%!!?

I couldn’t jump on a call with them immediately as I had a client consultation but let’s just say my mind was in a whirlwind of annoyance. I immediately texted my hubby to see if he could engage in an emergency intervention as I assumed others might be panicking as well and were going to take all the best options. It turns out our direct flights were “supposedly” cancelled and there was nothing we could do about it. We just have to deal. I spent the rest of the morning fuming and feeling swindled by the airline, and wondering why my husband hadn’t asked for compensation in return. (Let’s just say I hate layovers, especially when I planned ahead and paid money to avoid them…)

It finally hit me, rather belatedly I will admit, that I was wasting my morning on something trivial. The rescheduling of our flights was a NEUTRAL circumstance until I gave it meaning with my thoughts. I was creating my own misery, not the airline. Thoughts create our feelings, not the external circumstances in our life. My thoughts about the rescheduling were ruining my morning and if I didn’t stop I would create a negative cloud over our upcoming vacation. I could continue to create drama about it or I could drop my thoughts and move on. 

I decided enough negative energy had already been wasted on it. 

It doesn’t mean I won’t file a complaint with United’s customer service and try to get reassigned if another direct flight opens up (believe me, I’m no “pushover” with the airline industry - again my thoughts running wild here). But the action will be driven by a more productive thought and feeling. 

My angry victimhood mentality wasn't serving me or my family. It was wasting my morning and wasn’t going to lead to a fun restful vacation together as a family.  And if I brought that state of mind to the airline customer representative, chances were he or she wouldn’t lean towards helping me either.  So after releasing the negative energy, I chose to think thoughts such as “how can I make this new schedule work to our advantage? What movies and podcasts can I look forward to catching up on during this flight? What interesting people will I sit next to on this trip? What fun adventures lie ahead because of this change?” These thoughts create feelings of openness and curiosity (versus anger and resentment…)

It isn’t perfect but it definitely leaves me in a much better space than I was earlier today. 

I know our youngest son will be excited about the extra time in the sky, more airplane time means more iPad time. 🤣 [He clearly has a very different thought about rescheduling than I do!]

Take home lesson: All circumstances are neutral until you attach a meaning or thought to them. Play around with this concept as you go about your week. How would you feel about something if it were neutral to you, then choose to think a different thought about it and notice how you feel. Notice how it changes your experience.

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