The Quality of Your Relationships Depend on Your Thoughts (Day 15 of 30)

Loved ones don’t create your feelings. You do, with your thoughts!

Our relationships are simply our thoughts about another person.

So the quality of your relationship with your spouse or children depends on the quality of your thoughts about them!

For example, let’s say your husband remembers your birthday, buys you roses, and takes out the trash. You may then feel loved. 😍 But he isn’t creating that feeling in you. You are, with your choice of loving thoughts about him. Someone else might have the thought “That’s it? It’s my birthday! What a loser, he should know me better!” in response to the same facts and feel miserable as result.

It other words, it doesn’t matter if your husband buys you roses, remembers your birthday or takes out the trash. You can’t feel the love he has for you (or doesn’t have). Only he gets to feel whatever feeling he has in his body for you. You can only feel your own emotions that you are creating with your thoughts. And your thoughts about him will depend on your expectation of him and how well he meets those expectations. This is your choice. Also, your husband could give you the world and you’d still not feel love if your thoughts about yourself aren’t high quality.

So friends and family don’t create your feelings. You do, by the meaning you attach to their actions with your thoughts. Once you truly understand this, your relationships will never be the same. They will improve. You will no longer be at the mercy of others and will take back control of your emotional life. What a relief!

Adults get to be who they want to be. Trying to control them so you can feel better is exhausting, manipulative, and ultimately futile. Have you noticed?! People who go around trying to manipulate other people’s lives are often miserable.

You can make requests and have expectations of loved ones, just don’t hang your emotional well-being on the outcome.

Let your loved ones be who they are and in charge of their own emotional life, and you in charge of your own. Then come together and enjoy each other for who you are.

Friends and family are in your life to be LOVED! 💕

✨See you tomorrow for Day 16 of 30 lessons learned from 2019!

#feelings #lifecoaching #30daychallenge #lessonslearned #relaunch #returntowork #careerbreak