3 Ways to Boost Your Mental Fitness
Do you easily get hijacked by your emotions when there is a bump in the road or life doesn’t go as planned?
It takes a certain level of mental fitness to respond to life’s challenges with a positive mindset instead of a negative one.
When we were skiing in Oregon a few weeks ago, my teenage son’s emotions flared when the ski resort closed down the summit due to high winds. He specifically picked this mountain so he could ski the 360 views from the peak, so he was incensed.
He disagreed with the resort's decision to close the summit. Anger, frustration and defeat hijacked his brain and there was no consoling him. He just wanted to go home. He was a grinch to ski with.
How often does this happen to you on family trips or at work?
Maybe something unexpected happens that throws you off emotionally and you just can’t think clearly. How long does it take to bounce back? Or maybe you have to work with someone else who is stuck in this negative space, and it is a drag?
If you respond with the wrong attitude, the situation could escalate. Responding with a positive mindset requires drawing on a reservoir of resilience and mental fortitude.
How do you build that resilience? Are you mentally fit enough for life’s curve balls?
Shirzad Chamine’s mental fitness program that focuses on three core "mental muscles" gives us a blueprint to follow.
There is no right or wrong level of fitness, only how quickly you want to be able to transition from a negative to a positive mindset.
1. The Saboteur Interceptor Muscle
Each of us has a master saboteur called the Inner Judge that is busy judging yourself, others and your circumstances. It is the reason for negative emotions like anxiety, stress, anger, self-doubt, procrastination, avoidance and discontent. Whenever the judge is active you are going to feel negative emotions.
Noticing and catching your Inner Judge before it sabotages you is your Saboteur Interceptor Muscle.
When you start noticing this inner critic and other accomplice saboteurs, discrediting their lies and recognizing that they aren’t your friend, you’ll be able to choose whether you want toturn down the volume on their voices in your head.
In the case with my son, I was able to de-escalate our situation by catching my Judge from judging him too harshly for being such a grinch, which would have created negative energy between us and escalated the situation.
I also caught myself starting to judge our day as not being as fun with half the mountain closed. Sure it was sad but it didn’t necessitate going home. There was lots of fun to be had.
2. The Sage Muscle
A second muscle that can be developed is learning how to tap into your sage perspective, which is your ability to see that most challenges can be turned into a gift or an opportunity. (There are always exceptions; we are leaving aside extreme and traumatic situations here.) There is always something to be learned, an opportunity to be had, or a new way of looking at things.
You can do so by using your innate powers of empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation and activation. We all have the ability to tap into these five strengths as human beings to help us solve challenges.
When you are in sage mode you are accessing positive emotions like creativity, peace, calm, joy and focus. When you operate in this space you’re more likely to act in your best interest and reach your full potential.
Since I’d been practicing noticing my saboteurs and transitioning to the sage perspective over the last few months, I quickly realized the situation I was in with my son. It was an opportunity to strengthen my mental fitness.
Instead of judging him, I empathized with his thoughts and feelings about the situation without taking them on myself. It allowed us to connect which opened a small door to exploring what else we could do to make the most of our time on the mountain. It took some navigating and innovating for all of us to find a solution, and it all worked out in the end. We were still outside, in nature, with lots of snow and half the mountain to explore. 😊
3. The Self-Command Muscle
Unless you are a master Jedi, you’re not in full command of your mind.
If you were, you’d be able to entirely silence the negative voices in your head that tell you that your boss is a jerk or that your kid is an annoying brat.
Being in full command means not stressing out over what you can’t control, letting go of self-doubt, recovering from disappointments quickly, and spending less time besieged by anger, regret or blame.
Sounds dreamy, right?
The good news is self-command is a muscle we can strengthen over time. It requires shifting ourselves from dwelling in our survivor brain mode which is dominated by fight-or-flight responses, to using our wiser prefrontal cortex and rest and digest response.
One way to do this is to practice commanding yourself to stop being lost in thought and instead become aware of your physical sensations instead for 10 seconds at a time.
For example, you know those days you replay a conversation in your head while you’re eating lunch? Instead, try focusing solely on the texture and taste of your food for 10 secs at a time while tuning out your thoughts. Or when you’re screaming at your boss in your head while writing an email? Try following the rising and falling of your chest for 10 secs before responding.
The idea is to get out of your head and into your body more to help you access your sage powers more easily. Practice being fully present in real life situations in small increments.
While I was skiing with my teen I practiced these 10 second reps on the days the summit was closed and he was in full grinch mode. Whenever there was a challenging moment or I noticed a negative emotion bubbling up in me, it was my cue to take 10 seconds to ground myself before reacting to the situation.
I’d take a few deep breaths, follow my breath, focus on the snow capped mountains in the distance, or listen to the snow crunching beneath my skies. Sometimes it would take a couple minutes of 10 second reps to shift me from a negative space to a more positive space where I could access empathy and explore alternative solutions to the situation.
It was a great opportunity to deepen my mental fitness practice!
Each time you practice these 10 second grounding reps you're building new neural behavioral pathways in your brain, shifting you from following your negative saboteurs to choosing your sage perspective. With just 15 minutes of practice a day over time, you start turning your mind from your worst enemy into your greatest friend.
Give it a try. Start with just noticing your Judge, do some self-command grounding reps and see if you can turn the challenge into a gift or opportunity with your sage powers. Practice with lighter topics and as you get better you can move to heavier challenges in your life.
If you have questions, feel free to reach out to me for support. It takes practice but the rewards are life changing.