How to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of returning to work!
Whether you have clarity on your decision to return to work or not, it is hard to escape the highs and lows of the emotional rollercoaster ride you will experience during the different stages of your relaunch journey.
Indecision, self-doubt, guilt, confusion, overwhelm, anger, disbelief, anxiety, lack, sadness, angst, uncertainty, elation, excitement, hope, curiosity, optimism, anticipation, loneliness, desperation, frustration, despondency, isolation, depression, stress, paralysis, determination, contentment, satisfaction, elation, fulfillment.
How many of you can relate? 🤣
The good news is that emotions, whether positive and negative, are part of the human experience. The key is how you choose to manage it.
It is perfectly normal to have any of these feelings, or none at all. There is nothing wrong with you. As Master Coach Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School teaches, life is 50/50 - fifty percent positive and fifty percent negative no matter where you are in life. Just accepting this and giving yourself a big dose of COMPASSION will go a long way in terms of relieving any suffering you may be experiencing.
Most of us want to run away from the negative emotions because they don’t feel good. They are uncomfortable. Instead of allowing and processing them in the moment, we want to resist, avoid or react them. Unfortunately, this often compounds the situation and leads to greater suffering.
RESISTING is like holding a beach ball under water, it can be done for a while but it is quite exhausting. Eventually it will pop up with good deal of force and smack you in the face.
AVOIDING is when we sense an emotion but look to escape or dull it with buffering behavior like over-eating or over-drinking. Most often there is a net negative like gaining weight or hang-overs.
REACTING is letting our emotions take control of our behavior like slamming doors, yelling at our kids, or throwing objects. We dramatize the situation and freak out more.
These tactics don’t serve us in the long run and often makes things worse.
The secret to processing difficult human emotions is to actually let them flow through you and experience them.
There is no way around it - the only way is through it!
We want to learn to ALLOW the emotion to be present, knowing that an emotion is simply a vibration in our body that is generated by our thoughts.
Our feelings aren’t generated by circumstances of the external world, but by the statements and meanings our brains attach to events in our lives.
For example, you may be devastated that you didn’t get the job at XYZ Foundation, whereas another candidate may feel indifference. Same fact, different emotional response depending on the conscious or subconscious thought about the rejection.
Learning how to process negative emotions is a skill worth investing in, as it will enable you to confidently navigate any challenge.
Here are some practical tools for getting started:
Get Curious: Take a few deep breaths. And with a sense of compassion GET CURIOUS about the emotion that is flowing through you. How does it vibrate in your body? Get to know it well. Does it have a shape, color, smell? Where do you feel it in your body?
Own it: What thought did you have that created the feeling? When you genuinely OWN IT you gain authority over the feeling and start to realize you have a choice. You have the power to change things if you want. You may also choose to keep it. You just want to be intentional about it, and recognize the consequences.
Be the Watcher: Practice being the WATCHER of your mind. Sitting at a distance, without judgement, watch the thoughts that are floating through your mind. Do not attach to them, simply bring a sense of curiosity and fascination to the process. I like to do this by doing a thought download every morning for 5-10 minutes, and taking a look at what is going on in my brain.
Practice, Practice, Practice: Feel the vibrations in your body but don’t react to them. Sit in the discomfort until it dissipates. I find breathing and journaling help me through the particularly tough ones. The more you PRACTICE, the quicker the process will get. It is a skill worth developing. Otherwise, the unprocessed emotions will build up inside you.
If you’d like to learn more about navigating your emotional rollercoaster, sign up for a free consult here. You'll walk away with the courage and self-confidence to take action towards the career of your dreams and design a work-life balance you love, while also acting as a force for good in the world!