Is Your All Or Nothing Thinking Keeping You Stuck?

Have you noticed that your brain often thinks in “all or nothing” terms? Like “I can’t possibly continue to work from home under these conditions,” “That woman is a complete b*tch, I can’t stand working with her,” or “My boss’s political views make me nauseous, I can’t be around him any longer.”

We love to think in all or nothing terms because there is no resistance or cognitive dissonance in our brains. Decision making is simpler when things are black and white. Our brains like it when things are clear.

But here’s the thing, all or nothing thinking also limits us our growth. It makes the price of taking risks higher and keeps us stuck where we are and closed to new possibilities.  

It gives us a false sense of security.

What if we could hold space for both sides to be true? What opportunities might open up?

What if you could be open minded and hold the possibility that working from home has its positives and negatives, or that the woman is both a b*tch AND kind, or that your boss’s political views are nauseating AND understandable? 😄 🤷‍♀️

There is FREEDOM in allowing both truths to coexist. New pathways open up to you. That way you aren’t locked into a specific “thought prison,” not to mention all the feelings that those thoughts generate in your body.

It's easy to indulge in being RIGHT all the time instead of using our critical mind. If we want to evolve and grow I invite you to consider where you might be wrong sometimes. 

As my teacher Brooke Castillo says “when we are able to question ourselves we are able to live more authentically and bravely in the world.” 

It is definitely harder to be open to seeing all sides. It creates cognitive dissonance in our lives. One has to figure out how to hold both truths well. It’s a tension one has to learn to deal with. But the growth you’ll experience will be worth it.

My challenge to you is to notice when you have all or nothing thinking, consider the other side of the equation and see if there is an opportunity for growth. Can you put yourself in their shoes? Is there another side to consider? Truth is often relative.  At least give it a try. You can always go back to your old way of thinking.

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If you're feeling stuck and want help moving forward, let's chat! I'd love to help you. I invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me to explore whether coaching would be a great fit for you.