Be a Witness to Your Negativity Bias
I celebrated my birthday this weekend.
I started to announce to myself that I was happy to close the chapter on this year, that it generally sucked.
My mind raced through all the annoyances, grievances and missed opportunities. It was easy to think good riddance to 46.
And then I SAW myself. I watched my brain IN ACTION, having a field day with negative thoughts. It raised a big old RED FLAG and I smiled. It was a familiar sight!
“Hello negativity bias, I know you well.”
It’s a knee jerk reaction I have, to see the negative things to the exclusion of all the positive aspects of my life.
Can you relate?
It’s normal, it’s part of being human. It’s an evolutionary trait that kept us attuned to danger and alive for millenia. I get it. It means my brain is working well, trying to keep me safe but I just don’t need that constant alertness in this day and age.
As a result we remember negative experiences better than positive ones, recall insults better than praise, think negative thoughts more often than positive ones, and respond more strongly to negative events than positive ones.
I’ve been working on bringing awareness to this in my life and giving equal airtime to the positive aspects too.
It requires purposefully making the effort to take the time to notice all the good stuff.
My annual 30-Day Gratitude Challenge helps me tune-up that muscle. It was particularly useful to me this past December when I was hitting a wall with the pandemic. It doesn’t mean I don’t allow myself to feel sad or have negative thoughts, it just helps me get better at finding evidence that things are also going well when life is challenging.
This weekend my brain clearly needed another tune-up so I spent a few hours pouring over my photos from last year. I made a list of pros and cons and was surprised to find that my pro list far outweighed my con list! It was uplifting.
In fact, by the time I was done I was rather inspired by everything I did last year. It is funny the tricks our mind plays on us. And I'm someone who keeps track of her wins on a weekly, monthly and annual basis.
Developing the muscle of self-awareness and self-command is a journey, one that is well worth the investment. I’m no longer burying the “year of 46” and I’m treasuring it for the growth, resilience, love, connection and adventure I experienced last year.
How about you? Are there areas of your life where negativity bias is weighing you down? I invite you to also focus in on all positive aspects of your life. Give it equal airtime. Experiment and see how it feels.
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