How to Manage Stress and Uncertainty Around School Reopening
Many of us are feeling heightened uncertainty these days around work and the start of the school year.
We are all charting new territory with remote and hybrid learning, working from home while managing our kids’ education, loss of jobs or the threat of it, and the always looming threat of contracting COVID, etc.
Figuring it all out can be stressful.
A couple weeks ago I was on a call for my son’s middle school and the primary feelings shared by the majority of teachers and parents alike when asked how they felt about returning to school were anxiety, fear, nervousness, overwhelm, conflict and apprehension.
There were also a minority who felt hopeful, excited, curious, ready, enthusiastic, cautiously optimistic and eager.
All these feelings are perfectly normal and valid. There is no right or wrong. They are all part of the human experience. The key is learning how to manage them in a healthy and constructive way that works for us instead of against us.
But what was fascinating to me was what caused this variance of emotions between the groups given the same circumstance.
The answer, their thoughts.
Thoughts create our feelings.
Skeptical? Think a positive thought and notice how it makes you feel in your body. Feelings are vibrations in our bodies. Now think a negative thought and notice how your feelings and body changes. There’s science to back this up but the best way to fully grasp this concept is to start noticing it in your own body first.
During the middle school call, thoughts that produced uncomfortable emotions such anxiety, fear and nervousness amongst the parents and teachers included:
We don’t have enough information to process whether our kids (and staff) are going to be safe this fall.
The schools aren’t fully equipped to handle this challenge.
My kids are not going to be safe.
If the teachers and administrators are scared then I should be afraid too.
This is going to be a disaster.
The kids are going to be miserable sitting on Zoom all day.
Learning in person isn’t going to be the way it used to be (i.e. kids aren’t going to like it either…)
None of these thoughts are right or wrong. We’re all entitled to them.
The question is, are they serving you? Are they helping you reach your end goal?
Let’s say for example the goal is returning to school this fall in a safe and engaging educational environment for all.
If yes, great. If not, then consider examining your main thoughts around the situation and decide to think deliberately in a way that serves your end goal.
Questions to consider:
What emotions do my thoughts on this topic generate in my body?
What actions do they lead me to take in my life?
What results do I create with these actions?
Are my thoughts really true? Can I find evidence to the contrary even if I don’t fully believe it yet?
Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results
If you don’t like the result you are creating it is time to consider changing your thoughts. (Yes, sometimes the situation warrants changing the circumstance as well but in most cases it’s usually a thought problem or it's the place to start.)
You may be tempted to think the new school set-up and COVID are causing you undue stress and uncertainty, but in reality it is your thoughts about them.
You might not be able to control COVID and the Department of Education guidelines for how schools are going to open this fall, but the good news is you can decide what you are going to think about it and feel about them.
Life Coach Jody Moore held a great Masterclass last week where she spoke about two types of stresses that I found helpful in assessing COVID-related stress. It highlighted the upside of some types of stress.
There is stuck stress, when you stress about something in the future. You spin in your head and it grows in intensity. It becomes so unbearable, it blocks your genius and ability to take meaningful action. You literally get stuck. When you are in this stress mode you often feel confused, anxious, overwhelmed, resentful, self-pity, ...etc. There is nothing wrong with these feelings (we’re human), they just don’t typically fuel action that leads to results you want.
This sounds a lot like what some of the people on the school call were experiencing. Because of their negative thoughts about school opening, the meaning they were choosing to bring to their circumstances, they were feeling anxious, scared, and confused. These feelings weren’t fueling creative action and solutions. This kind of stress is not productive, it keeps you stuck.
But there is a useful kind of stress called progression stress where you focus your energy on solving a current problem. The feeling is intense but diminishes as you take action to solve it. Progression stress helps you access your genius instead of blocking it. In this mode you often feel determined, motivated, curious and courageous. This type of stress serves you and energizes you to get things done.
Parents and teachers that were experiencing progression stress expressed thoughts like:
We’ve been dealt a tough hand but we’re going to make the best of this we can.
We are an amazing community of parents, teachers and administrators - we’ll figure this out.
I refuse to let this ruin my year! Let’s get strategic.
My kid is resilient.
We’ll make this work.
I’m super creative. How can I make this online learning fun?
I’m not going to sit back and let the pandemic dictate my life. I’ve got this.
The teachers and administrators will work things out. They are amazing.
The school cares about the safety of our children.
I won’t quit.
The thoughts they chose about their reality gave them hope, motivation and determination to take action and come up with working solutions.
We all have “stuck” and “progression” thoughts throughout the day. The key is to notice which mode we are in and decide in the important areas of our lives if it is working for us.
Which group do you think will have the emotional rocket fuel needed to find solutions to the complex problems our schools and communities are facing this fall? Which group will demonstrate to our kids how to rise up during hard times and make the best of the situation?
I’m choosing “progression” thoughts. I may not always succeed but I’m sure going to try. It starts with awareness.
~
P.S. If you’d like to learn more about this and other topics that will help you master working from home join our Master Working From Home Facebook Group community for high achieving moms where we share best practices, tips and lots of support. We’ll also be holding special challenges and trainings in the months ahead. Stay tuned. You won’t want to miss out. Be a part of our growing community. Learn, grow & have fun! See you inside. Hop on over by clicking here.