My Homework - Discomfort, Curiosity, Fear & Unconditional Love

Dear Friends,

With the horrific death of George Floyd last week and the riots that have followed, my blog on calendaring didn’t seem relevant. I just couldn’t hit the send button. I believe we should be reading and following black voices and leaders, reflecting on how we can become part of the solution and taking action.

Here are a few instagram accounts I’ve added to my list in the last few days that represent black voices that might be of interest to you. They are in the fields of coaching and wellness. Let me know who you follow that are offering informative and different perspectives.

I don’t have all the answers. I simply encourage everyone to self-reflect and figure out what you have to offer your community. As I journaled yesterday morning four words kept jumping out at me. I thought I’d share my morning reflections and advice to myself related to what is going on. It will likely change as I learn and grow in the coming days, but this is where I am now.

1. DISCOMFORT

I need to be willing to be open to discomfort and sit in it. 

Blacks and people of color have been living it for decades. I owe it to them, myself and our collective future to work through my discomfort. Frankly I’m going to experience discomfort no matter what -  I might as well choose the kind of discomfort that leads to radical and productive transformation for our society. That starts with looking within and asking myself how have I been contributing to their pain and how can I be a part of the solution. Discomfort goes hand in hand with growth.

2. CURIOSITY

Be curious.

I can listen to more people, to different stories and opinions. Try to understand their perspective. Look for opportunities to help and make a difference. 

3. FEAR

Embrace fear.

Sometimes I wonder where this is all headed. It’s all amplified by COVID-19 and the quarantine. But I know the fear is created by my thoughts and is a sign that I'm mismanaging my mind on this topic. Fear is part of our evolution, it’s normal. But it’s not an excuse for me to freeze up and do nothing. I can take action with fear by my side. 
Fear is a feeling, it is just a vibration in my body. I can handle vibrations in my body. I’ve let fear hold me back before, but I’ve also moved forward many times while experiencing fear and the reward has always been great. Which will it be this time?! 
I can do hard things! 

4. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Practice feeling unconditional love and compassion for myself and others.
Practice having unconditional love and compassion for others, including those with different opinions and experiences. That starts with myself because I can’t give it to others if I don’t give it to myself first.

As the saying goes, "The way a person does one thing is the way they do everything." If I can't love myself unconditionally and with self-compassion, I certainly can't genuinely do the same with others.

Final Thoughts

I envision a new normal, our future, where we all have equal access to education, healthcare, jobs, justice, representation, friends, support networks, nature, and love. My husband thinks this last line is too optimistic. But just like with thought work, if you can’t believe in it, there is no chance it is ever going to happen. We have to believe in order to start manifesting it.

Our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings drive our actions, and our actions create the results in our life!

I invite you to ask yourself, what do you believe? 

If you don’t believe in equal access for all then there is your homework!

May we all have the freedom to breathe and choose.

May we all have the strength to walk our talk.

Sending you lots of love and light.

Warmly,

Melody 🦋

Thought Management, Mental Health, RelationshipsMelody WoolfordThoughts, Feelings