The Power of Self-Love and Self-Empathy

If you are working towards your dream, prioritizing self-love and self-empathy is essential. They are KEY ingredients in your happiness, success and fulfillment in life. 
 

Misguided Badge of Honor

Many of us are bad at self-love and wear it like a badge of honor.

I know so many high achievers who are in the habit of depleting themselves by beating themselves up constantly. They're convinced that being hard on themselves is good and an effective way to get things done. 

This exercise in brutality may work in the short-term, but it is exhausting and draining in the long-term. They may achieve their goals, but will feel like crap and aren't happy very long. 
 

Self-Empathy As a First Step
 

The first step towards cultivating self-love is building our self-empathy muscles. 

Self-empathy is the ability to be kind and gentle with ourselves no matter what. This involves:

1. Recognizing that we’re not alone in our thoughts, feelings and experiences. 

2. Observing aspects of our experience with a gentle curiosity and recognizing are thoughts don't define us.

3. Making an effort to treat ourselves well.

This is how we'd treat a loved one, so why not treat ourself the same way?

It fills our cup up much more effectively than beating ourselves up. We'll go farther in life and have much more fun with self-love than with self-hate. 
 

How to Practice Self-Empathy 

So how to do you start practicing self-empathy if you aren't in the habit of it?

Here's one exercise I love. Find a childhood picture of yourself, younger than 5 (or at least 10). A picture in which your original true personality shines through. (BTW, I often keep one on the cover of my iPhone as a constant reminder to do this.)

Start by taking a few slow deep inhales and exhales through your nose for 1-5 minutes.

Empathy lives in a very different region of your brain than your rational mind. You can’t think or analyze your way into it. You need to feel your way into it. Breathwork and other embodiment modalities can help you tap into it that part of your brain.

Now tune into the beautiful essence of this child in the picture. What were they like? Activate empathy towards them. Feel deep love for how precious they are. (If this is difficult for you or triggering, use a picture of your children as babies or pet instead.)

Now turn this self-empathy and self-love towards your current self. Recognize you are one and the same. Same essence, with years of lived experiences. Try looking at a mirror and feeling the same empathy for the current you. Try it a few times, sometimes it takes time and practice.
 

Final Thoughts

While the hammer of the rational mind is an important tool in your toolbox, the brush of deep empathy is a valuable addition to it.

Self-empathy is a muscle that can be strengthened. Practice it daily and I promise you'll see a positive shift in your life. It's a key step in helping you prioritize your dreams and overcome challenges along the way. It's invaluable in living a more joyful and fulfilling life. 

There is always room for growth here, so keep at it. Enjoy the journey. You have one life to live. 
#selflove #selfempathy #selfcompassion

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JOIN MY NEXT BREATHWORK SESSION

Want to cultivate more self-love and compassion? Come to my next breathwork session on Thursday March 2nd/Friday March 3rd. Sign up here.

No prior breathwork experience needed. Just come, relax, and have some fun. Bring a friend.

🗓️ Date and Time:
EST/NYC: Thur, Mar 2nd, 8-8:50 pm
AEDT/Sydney: Fri, Mar 3rd , 12-12:50 pm
$15 USD (Introductory rate for the month of March).