Are You On To Your Judge?
Ever notice that voice in your head that says, “I need x to be happy and if I don’t get it I’ll be miserable.” I sure have.
My brain loves to think “If I don’t live overseas, I’ll never be truly happy.” Or “If I don't ace this project, it's all over.” These thoughts create stress and spiral when left unchecked.
My survival brain jumps at the opportunity to have a negative chatter party, further compounding my stress. This debilitates my self-confidence and ability to do my best work, resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Luckily, I’m on to my internal Judge these days. She’s a pessimist. I’ve nicknamed her Silly Smelly. 😉 (Humor helps in alleviating stress.)
As soon as I start to feel stress in my body it’s an automatic red flag to check-in with myself and notice what’s going on. When I’m stressed I usually feel tension in my shoulders and neck, the urge to eat coming from my throat even though I’m not hungry, or I get mentally stuck.
My go to strategy for dealing with it is to first, stop and listen. I can usually identify the stress inducing stories that are circulating in my head. Sometimes I’m so wound up that I need to breathe slowly to down-regulate my nervous system enough to really clue in on what’s going on.
Second, I contemplate how these thoughts might be a lie. What is fact versus drama?
And finally, if it’s really true, I explore how I can turn it into a gift or opportunity that serves me in some capacity? What lessons could I learn, what inspiration can I find in the experience, what skills can I strengthen, etc.? It doesn’t have to manifest immediately, but just exploring possible options is a form of relief.
These three steps reduce my stress levels and help me to step back into a more productive mode.
With practice, this approach can become a habit.
You can develop the perspective that “If x happens, that’s wonderful. And if Y happens instead, that is fine too because I know I can turn it into a gift or opportunity.”
This allows you to go all in in support of your original plan, increasing the your likelihood of success. It helps to start practicing with small challenges and work your way up to weightier ones.
Where has your Judge shown up lately to spin a story that doesn't serve you?
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If this resonated with you and your internal Judge is causing stress and anxiety, check out my next Mental Fitness program. We’ll compassionately shine the light on your Judge and learn ways to shift to more empathic and productive thinking. Click here to learn more.