Getting Good at Loving the Journey

The other week I was hiking up a steep mountain with my family in the Catskills a few hours outside NYC. 

I was struggling because a few days earlier I had been stung by a bee above my ankle and it was still kind of swollen. The pressure from the strenuous hike and the bee sting was creating a strange secondary pain in my left ankle and knee. 

I was feeling frustrated but persisted because I really wanted to get to the top and be rewarded with the amazing views I’d heard so much about. 

I’m a long distance view junkie. As an urban dweller in NYC, I crave vistas of forests and mountains. The views soothe my tired Zoomed out eyes.

So I persevered and hobbled my way up, way behind the rest of my family.

Ten minutes from the top my oldest son came running down from the peak to deliver the news. 

“Mama, there is NO view!”

So typical of NY State hikes. A big cloud was obstructing the view and there was literally zero visibility. 

He searched my face for a response. He knew I was going to pop. 

I did. 

I belted “Noooooooooooooo, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” 

Yes, I wanted to throw a mini mama tantrum for emotional release.

I’d had a rough day. Earlier that morning we had our first flat tire and discovered that the tools we needed to change the tire were back in NYC (first time car owners and didn’t have AAA yet!). Let’s just say it had been a long day already. I really needed the universe to give me a break today.

And, he added with a grin as if to rub in a little salt into the wound “and there is a group of college kids yapping away at the top who aren’t wearing masks.” 

Ugh, can I stomp my feet now too?! 

My ankle and knee hurt, there is no view and I can’t get away from crowds of loud non-mask-wearing people! Ahhh! 

We trekked the remaining steps to the top and I was enveloped by a cloud of fog and cackling college kids blocking access to the “view.”

I noticed my husband hiding off to the right in the forest away from them. 

I walked around the group and plopped myself right down on the edge of the cliff where the view was supposed to be. 

What the hell. If I couldn’t have a view, then I was going to at least inhale the fog and eat my snack on the edge.

The kids and my hubby joined me. 

The wind blew the fog into our faces. It was refreshing. The college kids eventually left and we ate our snacks in peace, looking out over the white expanse. 
 

Sitting there mourning the non-existent view and feeling sorry for myself the mantra “life is a journey not a destination” came to the forefront of my mind.

The destination is so often not what we expect it to be. 

Pictures and descriptions in books are often off. Or perhaps our own expectations are overblown or idealized. Weather can also foil the best of plans. 

I had to remind myself that hiking isn’t just about the destination. It’s about being outdoors in nature and nurturing my soul. Sure the destination is a fun element in the adventure of it all, but I also love the fresh air, the trees, the flowers, the chance of seeing a wild animal, the changing colors of the leaves, the exercise, the opportunity to be away from an urban environment and the solitude. 

If I choose to be singularly focused on the destination and the reward of the long distance views, the whole outing would have been a huge disappointment. I would have missed the beauty of the rest of the experience. There was great serenity and mysticism in the rolling fog.

As I hiked down the mountain I made sure to refocus on those elements too. Mindset pivot.

I also thought about how applicable this was to so many of my experiences this year like building a life coaching business and our new COVID lifestyle. 

There have been many challenges in both. Starting a new business during COVID has felt hard at times. Having grand goals hasn’t been enough to power me through it all. 
 

I’ve had to learn how to love the process as much as the end goal. 

Again, it’s about the journey, not the destination!

For example, sometimes figuring out the tech aspects of an online business doesn’t feel like fun (at times I’ve found it maddening) and I’ve had to figure out how to make it enjoyable (or at least make peace with it). 

Luckily for me I have a lifelong passion for learning new things and once I coach myself past the fear of tech, the passion for learning and figuring it out kicks in. 

It also involves sometimes taking the pressure off myself to be in such a hurry to achieve my goal, focus on the present and love where I’m at. 

Because I know as soon as I achieve my goal I’ll just set another goal and start working towards it, so what’s the rush? The majority of my life is spent in the journey phase not the destination phase.

So it’s really about figuring out how to enjoy your life along the way because you never know what that destination has in store for you, and how you process it when you get there is up to you as well. 

Food for thought: Are you hunkered down, singularly focused on your goals and not enjoying the journey along the way? If so, take some time to ask yourself why? Is it worth it? Can you figure out a way to enjoy the journey too? And if you did, how would that improve your chances of meeting your goals in the end?

~~~

P.S. FREE WEBINAR: The Secret Sauce to Working from Home, Plus Three Other Key Ingredients on Wednesday October 28th at 10 am EST. I love the freedom of working from home but it was often a whirlwind of stress until I started regularly applying this secret sauce to my life. It will surprise you. Learn more by clicking the button below.

#bepresent #lovethejourney #findthejoy #mindfulness