The simple act of mental noting, gently acknowledging what’s going on in my mind in very simple terms without any judgement, has been influential in reducing the mental chatter in my brain in the wee hours of the morning!
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What is the difference between coaching and therapy? I get this question often. In a nutshell, here are the main distinctions I see. This is not an exhaustive list. There are MANY types of coaches and therapists out there, so this is just a broad outline. Therapy tends to be more about uncovering your past, diagnosing a disorder or mental illness, and healing. It is about taking the patient from non-functioning to functioning in the world. Life coaching on the other hand helps clients gain perspective on their life and mind, and identify areas for change and improvement. It is about growth, mind management, and designing a future they love! Often times, therapy and coaching compliment each other. Many clients work with therapist to heal their past, while also working with a coach to plan their future and take action towards their goals. A win-win combo for those who need it.
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Ever feel stuck on a project and unable to move forward? A feeling of overwhelm kicks in and you don’t know how to get unstuck?
It turns out what I needed to do was break down my actions into smaller more digestible steps than originally envisioned. I was trying to take on too much at once, and freezing as a result.
Once I chunked the projects into smaller steps, put them on the calendar and stopped looking at the overall grand goal, I was able to start take action. These “turtle steps” added up and created momentum that eventually led to the completion of my goals.
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Want to improve your productivity, concentration, and overall health with just one magic bullet? 😉
It’s called 8 hours of quality sleep on a regular basis!
My husband and I are fanatics about trying to get 8 hours of sleep every night for our mental and physical well being! 💤 The science is so compelling it will blow your mind! 🤯
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We often think of discipline as being the antithesis of freedom, but in reality they are intimately connected.
If you really want something, you must move through discipline to get there.
Let’s take time as an example - the most valuable commodity of all. Many of us complain about not having enough time and say we are too busy to engage in self-care or look for our dream job. But what if I told you there is always enough time. Time never changes. It is simply what you make time mean and how you use it.
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Of all the emotions on the planet to choose from, which one would you choose to feel most often?
I choose love because it feels amazing!
It is interesting that so many of us choose hate in the world today given that love is available to us anytime we want. How? Because our thoughts create our feelings. It takes practice, but the choice is available to us.
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Do you have an “instruction guide” for how people in your life should behave so you can feel good and happy? Of course you don’t tell them about this guide. It is just assumed they should instinctively know how to treat you properly and will of course comply because they love you or at least care about you.
Many of us have beliefs that we would be happier if someone in our lives would just change. So we spend years trying to change them, causing suffering and exhaustion.
Manuals are a huge cause of suffering for many of us because we are handing over the power of how we feel to someone else. Other people’s behavior has no impact on us emotionally until we think about it, interpret it, and choose to make it mean something.
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Sometimes you need to take a nap…and that’s OKAY!
Give yourself permission. You deserve it.
In fact, I took one this afternoon and it was glorious. Walking my talk people! 😉
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How does your body feel when you’re holding anger and resentment towards someone in your life for an offense or mistake they’ve made?
Icky and terrible, right? Like dragging a ball and chain around with you all day.
Ever stop to wonder why?
It's because of the negative thoughts we have about the offender. Those thoughts create feelings in our body that only we can feel. The offender only experiences their interpretation of our behavior, because they have their own thoughts that create their own feelings. We have no control over them.
So if we want to be free of the ball and chain, we have to choose the path of genuine forgiveness. For OUR OWN SAKE. Continuing to think negative thoughts only hurts us.
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Imagine your friend comes to you upset and shares with you that she bombed her interview with xyz company and isn’t sure what to do next. It’s been six months of job hunting and she feels like a total loser. She can’t seem to get a break. Will you (A) tell her she's a total loser and you are embarrassed to be her friend? Or will you (B) listen, be compassionate, and offer support?
Most of us would answer B!
Now, the big question. How many of you show up for yourself with the same compassion when you fail? 😘
Do you follow through on your commitments to yourself? 💯
Do you show up for yourself with 100% energy and enthusiasm? 👊
Or are you your own worst critic? 😤
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Loved ones don’t create your feelings. You do, with your thoughts!
Our relationships are simply our thoughts about another person. So the quality of your relationship with your spouse or children depends on the quality of your thoughts about them!
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Do you want to understand why you feel so crappy or amazing in any given moment? Take a look at your thoughts (not just your conscious thoughts, but also your unconscious ones). Why is this so important? Because your feelings are why you do or don’t do anything in life. They drive all your actions and inactions.
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One of the best ways I’ve found to maintain my sanity as an urban dweller over the last 14 years living in NYC is to get out in nature as much as a I can. I try to plan at least four hikes a season with family and friends, and build in vacations that are nature-oriented.
Nature heals the beating that my urban soul takes on a weekly basis with its remedies of solitude, fresh air and sunshine.
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Not sure what to do? Ask your FUTURE self.
Our brain is always trying to seek answers from our PAST…from old experiences and things we know how to do well.
Sometimes this serves us and other times it doesn’t.
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Watch what goes on inside without judgement.
How does it work. What makes it tick.
Just observe at first. Get curious.
Learn about it - the physical and mental aspects. It has superpowers.
Take care of it. Nurture it.
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There is beauty in simplifying your life.
Trimming what isn’t a priority.
Let’s take TIME for instance.
The most valuable resource in the world.
How do you want to spend your time daily?
Where do you begin with so many choices vying for your attention?
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How often do you clean and declutter your home? Probably fairly regularly, right? Getting rid of all those old, broken, moldy, ill-fitting or simply unwanted items that no longer serve you is liberating!
Now, how often do you clean and declutter your mind? All those old thoughts that you picked up from your childhood, parents, classmates, college roommates, coworkers, neighbors, old partners…thoughts and habits that over a few decades turned into hard wired belief systems? Ever stop to dust them off, question them, and analyze if they are still valid or relevant in your current life?
Most importantly, are they serving you?
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Breath In, Breath Out
Four simple words, yet such power to calm the mind.
Remember, your breath is always there for you, in good times and in bad. 🙏
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I’ve found that starting my day off by focusing my brain on a positive question is a useful exercise in personal growth. It keeps me from jumping down the rabbit hole of negativity and overwhelm. The better the questions, the better the results I get.
Here are some examples to get started:
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What’s your attitude toward’s failure? Is it moving your forward or holding you back?
If you want to grow into the next best version of yourself, you’ll want to learn how to embrace failure.
How? By REDEFINING what failure means to you.
YOU get to decide what you are going to think and thus how you will feel when you don’t meet your expectations.
You can choose to beat yourself up or you can choose to think failure is an opportunity for LEARNING.
Thomas Edison famously said “I have not failed ten thousand times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those ten thousand ways will not work.”
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